“MOST OF THE TIMES, YOU DO NOT NEED A NEW WAY, BUT A NEW WAY OF WALKING"
The new Spiritual Family Constellations according to Bert Hellinger (2007-2008)
(*) Veja no final, abaixo, inédita correspondência de Zaquie C Meredith e Bert Hellinger nos anos 2004/2005
" What was presented as quite simple at the beginning of Family Constellations now extends itself into a dimension that challenges us in ways we could not foresee at the beginning.
It is the spiritual dimension that suddenly imposes itself with such force that it pushes back and even surpasses the first family constellations. This causes anxiety for some. They would love to continue as the beginning of family constellations was, and even neutralize this new dimension by combining family constellations with other methods, and partly by subjecting constellations to these other methods. The first shock for many in a spiritual family constellation is that there was no need for a common constellation, and it could even be that this common constellation sometimes got in the way of reaching a deeper solution. I'm talking about family constellations where a client picks his family representatives from a group of people and then positions them in relation to each other. Then the representatives are asked how they feel in their place.
The answers gave indications of what needs to be changed in the constellation, or that needs to be brought into the constellation. The solution was found when all the representatives felt good in their places. From these constellations, great insights were discovered regarding the orders of love in human relationships. These insights were a discovery.
At many levels, they have opened up new possibilities for solutions and help that were not accessed before. Still, the decisive, essential, revolutionary insight did not come from family constellations. But it pointed family constellations in a direction that continued to develop further, the end of which we cannot foresee.
This insight was a spiritual insight. It was given to me by a spiritual path of fulfillment. It is the insight into the function and mode of operation of our consciousness. Not just felt consciousness, good or bad. It was above every insight of a consciousness, which today is mostly subconscious, and which operates according to laws different from those our consciousness knows.
Only this insight opened the door for family constellations to approach the spiritual realm, which obviously unites all members of a family in a way in which the destiny of one is the destiny of others. Family here is experienced in an expanded sense including those who, through their destiny, have an effect in the family.
This spiritual field, when given to itself, has resistance to change. So, for example, what has not been resolved in one generation will be repeated in the next generation in a similar way. For what is not resolved binds family members and gives them the security of belonging. And what exactly is it that holds this spiritual field together and produces the repetition of what is not resolved? It is consciousness.
However, now, through the new model of family constellations, a different dimension of this spiritual field reveals its influence. It interrupts the repetition of what is not resolved and opens the way for resolution beyond consciousness. The mode is quite simple. Instead of placing a family in common sense, only one or two people are placed. First only the client, or with him the person who is in conflict, for example, the person he rejects. Suddenly they are driven by a movement that they cannot resist. This movement always goes in the same direction. It brings together what has been separated. In the end it was always a love movement.
The big difference is that there is no need for any outside guidance now. The soul alone sought and found a solution as long as its own space and time were respected. He always found a solution in a completely unpredictable way, often beyond the orders of love. However, this only happens when the constellation leader himself is in harmony with the soul dimension and allows the soul to guide him.
When he himself, beyond the limitations of consciousness, allows the separated to find a way, with love, from within himself. First I called these movements "SOUL MOVEMENTS " I also thought that the movements were coming from a field of the spirit that unites family members in the same destiny.
But after a while, it became clear to me that here the spiritual dimension is at work beyond the soul's field of consciousness. These were the beginning of the spiritual movement. Where the movements of the spirit are going, how we come into harmony with them, how we affect them, we first experience it personally on a path of insight, a spiritual path of insight, and then acting in harmony with the spirit. In this kind of action, we lead by being led by the spirit. And what is the spiritual insight here that guides us?
The movement of the spirit is a creative movement that drives the movement of everything that moves and how it moves and keeps it moving. Therefore, every movement - as it is in itself - is driven by this spirit. This spirit is behind every movement, as it is in itself, and turns to itself. Anyone who is in harmony with this movement can come into harmony and remain balanced in it and also remain in harmony with all that is. Especially if he remains in harmony with all human beings, as they are, also with his family, also with his destiny, also with his guilt.
Here it becomes visible what it means to us in the end, and to the family constellations, when we flow with the movement of the spirit, or more precisely, when these movements move us first and when we are balanced with them. Can we go back to the point before this insight?
Only at a high cost. What is the price? Return to the sphere of consciousness and a movement against love. I put myself on this path myself, and in my work. What this means for family constellations I have been demonstrating for some time in the courses I offer, especially in training. I am describing this path also in my books, especially the most recent ones. I demonstrate this path visibly on the DVDs. I.e. (Lernen mit Bert Hellinger, ein Schulungskurs Salzburg), Learning with Bert Hellinger 5 DVDs a teaching course Salzburg and audio (CD Innenreisen: der Weg), 8 CDs Inner journeys: the path. What remains Distinction between different types of consciousness
Personal conscience Feeling of being connected Light and heavy The collective conscience Feeling of integrity The driving force Belonging after death Who belongs? Only love solves Who else belongs to the family? The balance The penance The revenge The healing The hierarchical order The violation of the hierarchy and its consequences The comprehensiveness The spiritual consciousness
The Different Kinds of Consciousness and Family Constellations Spiritual Consciousness a. The distinction between the types of consciousness b. The spiritual family constellation Personal consciousness The collective consciousness Conclusion.
Remain (what remains)
The Feeling of Belonging we experience this narrow awareness as the feeling of being light or heavy. With a light conscience, we feel good, with a heavy conscience, we feel bad. What happens when we have a light conscience and when we have a heavy conscience? What's up before feeling light or heavy so that we feel light or heavy? When we look better at times when we have a light conscience and when we have a heavy conscience, we can realize: We have a heavy conscience when we think, feel, and do something that is not in line with the expectations and demands of the people and groups we want to belong to and often we have to belong. This means that our conscience is alert to make sure that we remain closely linked to these people and groups. It realizes instantly when our thinking, desire, knowledge, and actions can jeopardize our connection and belong to these people and groups. When our conscience notices that we move away from these people and groups because of our thoughts, feelings, and actions, it reacts with a sense of fear of losing touch with these people and groups. We feel this fear as a heavy conscience. Conversely, when we think, desire, and act on the expectations and demands of these people and groups, we feel we belong and are sure to belong. The sense of belonging safely makes us feel light and relaxed.
We do not have to worry that we may find ourselves suddenly separated from these people and groups and therefore alone and unprotected. We experience a sense of security, of being included and belonging as a light conscience. Thus, personal awareness unites us with the people and groups that are important to us or our well-being or our lives. But since this awareness only binds us to certain people and groups and at the same time excludes others, it is a narrow consciousness. This awareness was of crucial importance to us as children. Children do everything to be allowed to belong, because without this connection and inclusion they would be lost.
Personal awareness ensures our survival in groups that are important to our survival and in relation to the people important to our survival. Thus, its extreme importance must be recognized. We can see this in the great importance that personal conscience has in our society and our culture.
Good and bad
With reference to this, we can observe that our concepts of good and bad are distinctions made by this consciousness. They define the extent to which something guarantees our inclusion or puts it at risk.
What guarantees our inclusion, we experience as good. We experience it as good through our light conscience. So we don't really have to worry about that if - when we look from a distance - this is really good or, for others, bad. In this context, what we call “good” is only meaning, simply gone as a slight conscience. Therefore, the good is only felt to be good and is advocated as good, broadly, without thinking. It also happens that to an observer outside this mental field, what is called “good” may seem rather strange and quite dangerous to many people's lives instead of protecting them. The same applies, of course, to the bad, except that we feel the bad more intensely than the good since it is linked to our fear of losing our inclusion and, with it, even our right to live.
Thus the distinction between good and bad is in the service of survival within our own group. It is at the service of the survival of individuals in their groups.
In this case, there is a risk that we may see this consciousness as a person as if he had personal goals and was deliberately seeking them.
This awareness functions as an impulse, a collective impulse that wants only one thing: to maintain and restore integrity. So it chooses the shape blindly. W. Belonging after death. We know that people are influenced and directed by this awareness as we see whether or not they represent excluded family members. In this case, we have to be aware that nobody loses inclusion when they die.
This means that this awareness treats the dead members of a family the same way as the living. No one is separated from the family because of his death. The family encompasses their dead and their living alike. This conscience really wants to reintegrate even the dead family members if they have been excluded, yes, especially those. This means that when a person dies, he loses his present life but nevertheless belongs.
What collective consciousness is at the service of what orders and how does it guarantee the maintenance of that order? The first order at the service of which this conscience finds itself affirms: all members of the group have the same right to belong. When a member is deleted for whatever reason, another member will later have to represent the deleted member. Compared to personal conscience, collective conscience is immoral or amoral. This means that she makes no distinction between good and bad or between guilty and non-guilty.
On the other hand, it protects all members equally. It wants to protect its inclusion or restore it if it has been denied. What happens if a family member has been denied this right? He is brought back by this awareness. Thus, another member will have to represent the excluded in the family without being aware of it. How does this happen? Another family member represents him and assumes the fate of the excluded.
He thinks and acts like the excluded member, has similar feelings, lives similarly, and even dies similarly. This family member serving the excluded represents his or her rights. It is, to some extent, in the power of the excluded person but without losing his own Self. When the excluded person gets back his place in the family, the family member who represented him is free to have to represent him again. It is not that the excluded person wants to be represented in this way, although this may happen occasionally when the excluded person has bad feelings toward someone in the family.
It is mainly because this consciousness desires and causes this representation, with the consequent entanglement. It wants to restore the integrity of the group.
Only Love Solves
I now want to stop the enumeration to say something about how the excluded can be brought back. Only love can do it. How sweet? Conscious love. He is conscious when we turn to the other person as he is. It is also felt as grief for the loss of this person. He is especially felt like the pain of what we may have caused this person.
With this love, we can also feel if he touches another person if he reconciles us to him if he allows them to give scans if they can take their own places again and stay in them. Then the collective consciousness finds peace as well. Then we see that this collective consciousness is at the service of love, at the service of the same love for all who belong to this family.
This is really the time to enumerate who belongs to the family, who is included and directed by a common collective conscience. I'll start with the closest ones. Members of a family who are under the control of this conscience include:
1. The children, that is us and our children. Among the children, also the stillborn or intentionally aborted and often the spontaneously aborted. With regard to these, it is often thought that they can simply be excluded. And of course, also the children kept secret and donated. To the collective consciousness, they all belong fully and are remembered and compensated, without regard to justifications or desires.
2. At the level above the children, the parents and their blood brothers. And the brothers that I listed above when speaking of the children. Also under this awareness are ex-partners of the parents. If they are rejected and excluded, they will be represented by one of the children until they are remembered with love and brought back.
Who Else Belongs to the Family?
I will now continue to enumerate who belongs to our family, who is taken over and protected by the same conscience.
3. At the level above, parents and grandparents belong, but without their siblings, unless they have had a special destiny. And the grandparents' former partners also belong.
4. Also, either great-grandfather belongs, but this is rare. So far, I have listed mainly the natural relatives and former partners of parents and grandparents.
5. Apart from these, also belong to our family those whose death or fate has brought some advantage to our family. For example, a large inheritance. Also, those at whose expense the lives and health of our family have gained an advantage.
6. In this regard, too, belong to our family those who have been the victims of violent acts perpetrated by members of our family, above all those who have been murdered by members of our family. The family should look at all of these too, with love, grief, and pain.
7. And one more thing that can be challenging for some. When members of our family have been victims of crime, especially if they have lost their lives, the killers also belong to our family. If they are excluded or rejected, they will later be represented by members of our family, pressured by the collective conscience.
Perhaps I can point out here that murderers are attracted to their victims just as victims are attracted to murderers. Both feel complete only when they have met and united again. The collective consciousness makes no distinction between one and the other.
Before continuing, I want to say something about the balance between these two consciousnesses. The need for balance between taking and giving and between gain and loss is also a movement of consciousness. The personal conscience that we feel as light or heavy conscience, and as innocence or guilt, takes care of the balance with similar feelings, that is, also with the feeling of innocence or guilt and with the feeling of light or heavy conscience. But our concept of innocence and guilt is different.
Guilt is felt like an obligation when I have received or taken something without reciprocating with something of equal value. Innocence is felt as liberation from this obligation. This feeling of innocence and freedom is what we feel as we take and repay so that giving and receiving are in balance.
We may add here that we can achieve equilibrium in another way as well. Instead of giving back something of equal value, which in some cases we cannot do, for example, with our parents, we can pass on something of equal value, for example, to our children.
We also rebalance with suffering. This is also a movement of consciousness. When we have caused someone suffering, we also want to suffer as a way of balancing, and after we feel pain, we may have a slight conscience again.
This kind of balance we call penitence. However, we have to note that this need to do penitence refers only to the individual himself since it cannot really give anything to the other and restore balance. Still, with this kind of suffering the other may no longer feel alone. This kind of balance is unrelated or unrelated to love. He is more instinctive and blind.
We also feel a need for balance when someone has hurt us. So we also want to cause damage to each other. In this case, the need for balance becomes the need for revenge.
But vengeance only balances for a moment, as it causes more need.
For the collective consciousness, there is also the equilibrium movement, though largely hidden from our consciousness. Those who have to represent an excluded person do not know that they are serving the balance. Balance, in this case, is the movement of the greater whole, which balances quite impersonally, since all who serve balance are innocent in the sense of personal consciousness. This form of balance can be compared to a healing process.
Here too something that has been injured is being restored under the influence of higher forces. The collective consciousness wants to bring back something that has been lost and thus restore the order of the whole and heal it.
The Order of Priority
I return to the order of collective consciousness. I will say something about the second order, which the collective conscience serves and which tries to restore what has been violated. The order says that everyone in the group can and should take that place that conforms to their level of belonging. This means that those who came before take precedence over those who came after. Therefore, parents take precedence over children, and the first child over the second. Each has its proper place.
Over time each one moves up, according to order, until they establish their own family, and then, together with their partner, take their first place. Here another order of priority is ensured, which is the order of priority between families, for example between the family of origin and the new family, established. Here the new family takes precedence over the old one.
This order also applies when a parent, during their marriage, begins a new relationship with another partner, and a child is born. With this a new family is established, which takes precedence over the old one.
Violation of the Order of Priority and its Consequences
The order of priority is violated when someone who joined later wants to take a higher position than is appropriate. This violation of the order of priority is what we call the pride that comes before the fall.
Above all, this order of preference is violated when the child wants something from the parents. For example, when you get sick or want to die in the place of your parents. Here, the order of priority is being violated without love. But this love does not protect the child from the consequences of his transgression. The most frequent violations are those observed with children. Certainly when they want to be above their parents, when they feel they are better than their parents and do so. This is a violation of the order of priority without love.
The tragedy of this is that the child does it with a good conscience. This means that under the influence of personal conscience and through transgression, the child feels particularly innocent and great. And you also feel a special sense of belonging because of it. Here the two consciousnesses oppose each other. The order of priority where collective consciousness imposes and protects is violated in harmony with personal consciousness. In this sense, violating is conscious. Personal conscience is, therefore, pushing someone to violate this order and its consequences. Above all, this order of preference is violated when the child wants something from the parents. For example, when you get sick or want to die in the place of your parents. Here, the order of priority is being violated without love. But this love does not protect the child from the consequences of his transgression.
What are the consequences of this violation? The first consequence is a failure. He who wants to be above his parents, with or without love, will fail. This not only applies to the family, but also to other groups as well as organizations. The tragedy of this is that the child does it with a good conscience. This means that under the influence of personal conscience and through transgression, the child feels particularly innocent and great. And you also feel a special sense of belonging because of it. Here the two consciousnesses oppose each other. The order of priority where collective consciousness imposes and protects is violated in harmony with personal consciousness. In this sense, violating is conscious. Personal conscience is, therefore, pushing someone to violate this order and its consequences.
Many organizations fail because of internal conflicts where a lower-level person or lower-level department wants to be above the one already there, and therefore above it. What are the consequences of this violation? The first consequence is a failure. He who wants to be above his parents, with or without love, will fail. This not only applies to the family, but also to other groups as well as organizations.
The consequence of violation of the order of priority is death. The tragic hero wanted to "put" on his back something that belonged to his superiors. He not only fails but dies. We see something similar with children who carry something for their parents. They are saying, "Instead of you, me." What exactly does that mean? In the end, it means, "I die in your place." Many organizations fail because of internal conflicts where a lower-level person or lower-level department wants to be above the one already there, and therefore above it.
The consequence of violation of the order of priority is death. The tragic hero wanted to "put" on his back something that belonged to his superiors. He not only fails but dies. We see something similar with children who carry something for their parents. They are saying, "Instead of you, me." What exactly does that mean? In the end, it means, "I die in your place."
The order of priority is an order of peace. It is at the service of peace within the family and within a group. In the end, it is at the service of love and life. The order of priority is an order of peace. It is at the service of peace within the family and within a group. In the end, it is at the service of love and life.
The Comprehensiveness (of the Collective Consciousness Authority)
How far can collective consciousness go back? Only the "dead" we know belong to us? Or does this awareness want to bring back the excluded even from the first generations? Could it even be ourselves, as we were, in a previous life? Perhaps it is in the service of a cosmic movement that nothing that is can be lost? Do we undermine this order of priority through our beliefs in progress as if we were better than our ancestors? As if we were superior?
What effect does it have on us if we put ourselves in our proper positions as a whole, that is, humbly in the last place? When we take all that were excluded, for whatever reasons, and here they who had to die before their time, when we took them with us in our present time, with all that they lost, then we are not complete with them?
Spiritual Consciousness: what does spiritual consciousness respond to? It responds to a movement of the spirit, that spirit, which drives the movement of everything that moves and keeps it moving in a creative way. Everything is subject to this movement, whether we like it or not, whether we accept it or resist it.
The question is whether we perceive ourselves in harmony with this movement, whether we submit and remain in harmony with it if we submit to it consciously. This means that we move as far as we think, feel and act as we perceive ourselves moved, guided and led. What happens when we perceive ourselves in harmony with this movement?
What happens to us when we try to get out of this movement, perhaps because its demands seem too heavy and it can scare us? Here we experience something with spiritual consciousness that we can compare with personal consciousness. When we experience ourselves in harmony with the movements of the spirit, we feel good. First of all, we feel calm and smooth. We know the next steps and have the strength to follow them. This is, as we say, a good spiritual conscience. With personal awareness here, too, we immediately know if we are connected.
Only this knowledge here is spiritual. A good conscience is a wisdom of surrendering to a spiritual movement. What is the essence of this spiritual movement? It is a movement of the spirit to all that is. It is one with the spirit who gives the same loving attention to all that is. How then, again analogous to the feeling of guilt in personal consciousness, do we experience a heavy spiritual awareness? We feel restless as a spiritual block.
We don't know our way anymore, we don't know what we can do and we feel powerless. When do we definitely get a heavy spiritual conscience? When we deviate from the love of the spirit. When, for example, we exclude someone from our loving attention and our will. At that moment we lose the harmony of the spirit movement and are thrown back to ourselves and then we have a bad conscience.
But just like personal conscience, bad conscience here is also at the service of good conscience. Through its effects, it guides us back into harmony with the movements of the spirit until we become calm again and one again with your kind attention and love for all as it is.
Different Consciousness and Family Constellations
When someone wants to understand and solve a personal problem with the help of family constellations, or a problem with relationships with a partner, or with a child in the family, we immediately realize what awareness is involved in having produced and maintained it. and then what that problem will require from the individual and family to come up with a solution.
And in this we need to see an interconnectedness of the consciousnesses that are at work as they operate in the service of our relationships. They build and complement each other so that we can see a problem and its solution and relationship to the various consciousnesses and ultimately to all of them.
For example, if someone asks for help, we can immediately understand which consciences have played their part in the problem and how and what resolutions they can offer. Or, otherwise, when a therapist has a problem with a client he may wonder what consciences in himself are involved in the problem and what they offer him in terms of resolution.
The Spiritual Consciousness
Here I look at family constellations - from the end of their path to where they have traveled within the perspective of spiritual consciousness. Looking back, we can clearly understand the importance of both consciousnesses. We also realize where they reach their limitations. Spiritual awareness guides us beyond these limits.
The Distinction of Consciousness
What is the main difference between these different consciousnesses and what places their limitations? It is the scope of love. Personal awareness serves our connection to a limited group. It excludes others that do not belong to this group.
Not only connects but separates. Not only do you love, but you also reject it. Collective conscience goes beyond personal conscience because it also loves those within the family and similar groups who have been rejected and excluded from their own families and groups. The collective conscience wants to bring back the excluded so that they can belong again. Therefore, your love goes beyond. But the collective conscience is not so concerned with the well-being of the individual, otherwise, it could not force an innocent person - who had no part in exclusion to represent the excluded, even if this is a heavy burden for the individual.
Here it is clear that consciousness is not personal, but collective, which is interested in its completion and order within a group. The movements of the spirit, by contrast, are equally concerned with everything. One who is in harmony with the movements of the spirit will be concerned with everything equally with benevolence and love, whatever the fate.
This love knows no bounds. It goes beyond the distinctions of best and worst, good and bad. Therefore, it transcends the boundaries of personal consciousness and collective consciousness. It also turns to the individual and to everyone in the family and to other groups that belong to him. Spiritual consciousness observes this with love. It comes back to us when we deviate from it.
The Spiritual Family Constellations
What does this mean in constellations? How does this love show itself in family constellations? First of all, I would like to say that the movements of the spirit reveal themselves impressively.
It is possible to try them and see them through the representatives and also in those who observe these movements. This means that the movement of the spirit is firstly perceived by the representatives, and then through the representatives, also by those who observe these movements and by those who may even have been taken by them.
Therefore, the course of procedure in spiritual family constellations is different from the family constellation. Here a family is no longer placed in the sense that someone chooses representatives for their family members through a group and then puts them in position and connection with others. Here, only one person is placed, for example, the customer or representative for him and can be another person, for example, his partner. But that does not put you, in the normal sense, in relation to this other person.
This person is simply placed, for example, opposite with distance from the other. There are no instructions or intentions. The customer or the customer representative and any other additional person are simply placed. Then, suddenly, they are driven by a movement, without being able to direct that movement. This movement comes from the outside, even though it seems to come from within.
This means that the person experiences being connected with a movement that initiates a movement through them. But that only happens if they really stay connected without their own intentions or fear of what might turn out. As soon as our intentions come to light, for example, the intention to help, or the fear of what may come to light and where it goes, the connection with the movements of the spirit is lost. So also the viewer's connection is lost. They get restless. After a while, it becomes clear through the rep movements if another person needs to be placed. For example, if someone is looking at the floor, that means they are looking at a dead person.
Then another person is chosen and asked to lie on the floor in front of the representative. If the representative is looking intensely in one direction then someone is placed in the place he is looking at. These movements are very slow. If one moves quickly he is moving through his intention and is not connected with the movements of the spirit. It is no longer safe to trust and needs to be replaced by another representative. Importantly, the constellation leader holds his interpretations and points of view. He also indulges in the movements of the spirit.
This means that he only acts when he finds himself moved by them to a next step or to say a sentence, which he himself says or that he lets a representative say it. And also by the movements of the representatives, he constantly receives indications of what is happening within them and where these movements are going. When, for example, representative shrinks or moves away from the dead person's representative in front of him, the constellation intervenes after a while to bring him back. Certainly this is not so with the movements of the spirit.
The leader leaves everything to the movements of the spirit. He, the leader, like them, is at the service of spiritual movements and follows them irresistibly, interfering in a way or in a way that says something. And where are these spirit movements taking us after all? They bring what was separated before. They are always a movement of love. These movements do not always have to be brought to their fullness. It is sufficient if it is clear where they are going. Therefore, these constellations are often unfinished and open.
It is sufficient when the movement is started. We can trust that they will continue. These movements do not show anything, for example, the solution to a problem. They are already decisive healing steps, and like healing in general, they need their time. They are starting a healing movement. Family constellations to be in harmony with these spirit movements require the constellation leader to remain in harmony with them.
This means, first of all, that it remains beyond the boundaries of the distinction between good and bad, turned equally to everything with the same love. He can do this only when he learns to be aware of the state of spiritual harmony within him so that he can immediately perceive when he deviates from this love. For example, when he wants to blame someone for an event, or when he feels sorry for someone for having suffered something.
Deviations from this love we experience again and again in ourselves. However, when we learn to be aware of the movements of spiritual consciousness and submit to its discipline, we will soon be brought into harmony with your movement of love for everything as it is.
The narrowest limits against love come from personal conscience. This is because our distinction between the right to belong and the loss of belonging comes from the approval of this conscience. It is clear that this distinction is important for survival and within certain limits cannot be replaced by anything.
This awareness puts limits above all on children. For children it is a matter of survival to submit to the means and behavior that is required by this awareness. This includes suspicion of those who follow a different personal conscience because these people are part of another group. And that goes as a rejection against them. This awareness, like a good conscience, makes survival possible and safe on the one hand, but on the other it makes it dangerous when it leads to conflicts with other groups and confrontations.
Personal awareness also needs balance. This need is a movement of consciousness. We have a good conscience when we give back to those who have given us something of equal value. So there is a balance between giving and receiving. That same good conscience we can achieve differently in situations where we cannot return something of equal value. Here we convey something of equal value to others. Accordingly, we have a bad conscience when we take without giving anything in return, or when we demand that which is not appropriate. In this sense too, personal conscience has an essential task at the service of our relationships, yes, this need for balance makes this possible.
And this need serves us for survival - albeit only within certain limits. Personal conscience serves life and survival in its role for balance and also in its role in connecting with our family. But on the other hand, once a certain limit has been crossed, the opposite is true. It can lead to death. Relating to connections is this aspect of personal conscience that requires separation from other groups, leading to severe conflict or even war.
Related to the need for balance, is the extension of the need for balance to the balance of mutual pain and wound all to deadly revenge like a bloody vendetta. The need for punishment also has a similar direction. Punishment for the suffering and wound we have caused to others and now we impose suffering and restraint on ourselves. In this context we have also there is the punishment done in one's place. For example, when a child is punished for his parents, but also when a mother or father expects the child to punish himself in his place.
For example, when the child gets sick or dies, as we see in family constellations. However, this is an unconscious process on both sides, because here collective consciousness is at the service. But it is always about a kind of balance that opposes life, hurts it, and even sacrifices it with good conscience and a feeling of innocence. What do we have to care about in the family constellations to stay within the confines of personal consciousness that serve life? We must have left the distinction between good and bad behind.
If we remain within the spell of personal awareness in family constellations - for example, if we reject other people along with the client - then we are serving in a limited sense. So we are serving in the same way as personal consciousness - on the one hand to life, on the other to death.
The Collective Consciousness
What do we need to observe in family constellations regarding collective consciousness? First, let us not exclude anyone from our family or our clients' families, look for the excluded in both families, and look to them with love and affection.
We can only do this if we leave behind the difference between good and bad and if we also look at unborn children, even if it is not easy. This needs courage and clarity. Then honor the order of priority. This means first realizing that through our help we temporarily become members of the client's family. But we join the family as the last member, and therefore our place is the last place.
What happens when the facilitator behaves as if he or she takes first place, even before or above the client's parents? He fails. The client also fails when he does not observe the priority order and perhaps is even supported by the facilitator. For example, when the customer took something from the parents to himself, that was not appropriate for the priority order. Then sometimes inside he says to his parents, "I, in your place." For the facilitator, not respecting the order of priority can be dangerous. For example, when he takes for himself what is of the customer.
Then he puts himself above the client, as he puts himself perhaps above his parents. But when the facilitator is presumed to think that he could change the client's destiny or protect the client from that destiny. Only within the bounds of the order of preference can the facilitator remain in his power, and the client is able to find his way to an appropriate solution, here in the double sense of the word. Regarding collective consciousness, in family constellations, we only need to remain within our limits, as these are open and comprehensive.
Spiritual awareness guides us beyond the limits of personal awareness through your love for everything. It also protects us from the collective consciousness as it turns to everyone equally. It honors the order of priority in a special way, because flowing with the movements of the spirit we find ourselves of equal value and level with everyone, just as down to earth as everyone else. In spiritual family constellations, we always remain in love, complete love. Only spiritual family constellations are always and everywhere in the service of life-love and peace
Zaquie's feelings about Bert Hellinger
What I learned from Bert Hellinger in Brazil and Mexico
The first time I saw Bert personally was in Mexico in 2002 at Seminar on Family Constellations Couples.
There were about 6 people from Brazil and we were starting this work here. It was not yet so widespread, there was no official representative of the work. I mean, officer.
But what struck me most was the procession we did after the seminar. Bert was carrying a torch (see photo). Walking with him at night in Oaxaca in silence was really exciting!
During the seminar (Bert liked to give seminars), there were hundreds of people, and he was - while rigid, hard - also flexible, good and generous.
And how could so many opposing qualities be in one person? Yes, I have seen him harsh (not to say “thick”) with several people. But today I understand that what we Latinos called thick was just sharp objectivity or "tough love" . The one we're not used to. “This is it. That is that. ”
Bert is a special man. Of an unusual brightness and compassion. Your soul is transparent. There is no way not to realize this. But don't try to imitate it! No one will make it. Few people are born that way. He is one of them. Having devoted your entire life to others and leaving behind your personal life is akin to those who have a huge heart. Love humanity. He accomplished his mission gracefully.
But he keeps surprising us. Even though he devoted himself to others, it was at age 80, that Bert left for his personal, affective fulfillment. Undoubtedly, by discovering what makes love work (one of its great publications), the Universe could not fail to give him a gift: his union with a woman of flesh and blood to live all the fruits of “sin”. ”, As he says.
This is Bert. A soul that has accepted and fulfilled its spiritual and carnal destiny in a joyous and exuberant way. If you have not seen it, try to see it. He is still is the guiding star, the living wisdom. And we just thank you. In 2019 Bert left for another dimension. But we are here, with him.
Procesión después del Seminario Bert Hellinger sobre Parejas y Constelaciones, México, en 2002.
SEE HERE EMAIL EXCHANGE BETWEEN
BERT HELLINGER AND ZAQUIE C. MEREDITH
RARE INTERACTION FOR CELEBRITY
EMAIL SENT BY ZAQUIE C. MEREDITH:
We are a family owned and operated business.
TO: BERT HELLINGER
SUBJECT: FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS
FROM: ZAQUIE C. MEREDITH
I would like to share with you a few experiences I had on Family Constellations. It is so important that I manifest how your work is so brilliant and helpful to people. I realize that one of the reasons we like family constellations so much is because it is an "alive" movie. I know it sounds simple but I only realized this when I was watching a movie. We see ourselves in it. It is a story we see the beginning, the middle and the end. But contrary to the movie, it is a real story. With promising solutions!
I realize consciousness is more and more JUST ONE THING that involves even our body and mind if we allow it to come. It talks to us if we let it. Sometimes we can "hear" it “before” the constellation itself, if we allow to. The other day a College Directory called me to do an organizational constellation with them. I had never done organizations before - all of this happened at the very beginning of constellations in Brazil - but I trusted God and Hellinger. Actually I invited " you" to be with me energetically. And when they were presenting the problem (12 teachers) I looked at you and I saw you looking at the university itself as an entity. Since consciousness is ONE, you could be there as part of the consciousness of this organizational constellation and something would be revealed. They spoke, but nothing came out which was important. But when one of the teachers stood up and spoke my heart went pang! An older teacher, a woman, said that for a long time she carried this agony: there were 2 men who founded the university but one was excluded. And the one who was excluded left in anger. They also told me that everyone who works for them and leaves in anger. I then did the constellation including this man who dedicated part of his life and was forgotten. It was moving and beautiful. Thank you Bert Hellinger.
Another case right in the beginning of family constellations : I feel the soul consciousness - it can speak to us even before the constellation. And it speaks to us through "sensations". A woman came to me and she felt guilty towards her mother 's death. I worked on her (my regular energy healing) but she was still sad. When she left I sat down and all of a sudden my mouth and face started to tremble. It was non-voluntary. My mouth went distorted and I felt like I wanted to say one thing but nothing came out. I felt despair. I felt alone and I was sorry my daughter was not with me. Daughter? Then I realized this was the old woman who died, not myself. I then said Hellinger's words which were appropriate for this woman ( daughter saying to mother )
E-MAIL ANSWER: We are a family owned and operated business.
TO: ZAQUIE C. MEREDITH
SUBJECT: RE FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS
FROM: BERT HELLINGER
“Dear Zaquie Thank you for sharing. Ypou have something important to share.
Wonderful. Sincerely Bert Hellinger”